My Date Flake Rate in San Francisco is at 61% year-to-date


Note: a previous version of this post had the flake rate at 80%. Turns out I had forgotten a couple of girls I did end up meeting.

Finally ran the numbers and created the spreadsheet I’ve been visualizing for a while.

Note the stood up/ghost combo on March 8, and of course this past Wednesday when I triple booked three girls at the same time, and they all flaked.

Tally that up, boys, and imagine setting a date and knowing that 3 out of 5 times it’s not going to happen. That is reality in San Francisco.

At least I have a spreadsheet now so I can begin to isolate variables.

Pancake’s Basic Guide to Instagram Game

See also: How to Instagram close — the Pancake way


Instagram’s userbase continues to grow, and having a solid Instagram presence is becoming more and more useful in terms of making your life as a man easier by giving you social proof and demonstrating your value.

I have been experimenting with Instagram Game for a year and a half. Through trial and error and comparisons with other successful guys, I have a good handle on what works and what doesn’t.

Why develop your Instagram presence?

Instagram tends to polarize people.

The mantra among a lot of guys in the community (especially the more red-pill-inclined) is to avoid Instagram entirely because it’s a haven of beta-ization and attention whoring.

Other guys claim it’s the best tool in the world, will replace Tinder, and you should be opening every girl on it and putting Tinder on the backburner.

The reality is somewhere in between both of these claims. If used correctly, Instagram can be used to your advantage as a man to show off your lifestyle to women and increase their attraction to you. But if used incorrectly, it can be a time suck and cause you to spend hours scrolling through your feed with girls you’ll never fuck that don’t look half as good as they do in their photos.

At the end of the day, Instagram is one of the fastest-growing social networks in the world, and it is one of the only networks that is majority female. By using Instagram, you’re moving to where the ratios are best.

Your profile

Your profile should have a provocative name (not just your first and last name), a solid profile photo (make it a close-up of your face with a photo that is rated highly by girls), and a descriptive bio filled with DHVs (make it similar to a Tinder bio).

Then, onto the photos. If you’re starting from scratch, you can post a photo every day to build up your presence, but after six or so you’ll want to move to once every few days, or once a week.

The key here is quality over quantity. Every photo of yours should be a DHV that portrays you as a high-status guy and hits all the attraction switches:
– Leader of men
– Protector of loved ones
– Preselected by other women
– Ability to emote
– Risk taker

Next, you’ll want to define a niche (are you a DJ? Weightlifter? College dude? World traveler?) and put up photos in that niche that represent your personality.

All photos should be taken with a phone with a nice camera or a DSLR. At least half of the photos should have you in them. Remember that this is a marketing account for you as a man. While I’m sure your landscape vacation photos are great, at the end of the day, girls respond better to photos of people, and they want to make sure you were actually in the locations you said you were, rather than stealing photos from Flickr. Typical online apps advice about avoiding selfies applies.

I recommend using the Snapseed app on your phone to edit and color-correct your photos before posting, it’s better than Instagram’s built-in photo editing tools.

Stories can include selfies and can relax the “quality photo” requirement a bit, but most stories should be a DHV as well, not just the Egg McMuffin you had for breakfast this morning.

After following this advice, you should have a profile that looks more like this:


than like this:


Your followers

Having a lot of Instagram followers is a DHV and status signal. It makes girls curious about how many people follow you and why.

To get more followers, you’ll need to use services like or, or, which follow/unfollow users and like their photos, artifically growing your follow count. If you decide to take the plunge and buy Followliker, I recommend this guide to grow your page:

As few as 2,000 followers should set you apart from most guys, and I’ve found the sweet spot is around 10,000.

One thing to keep in mind when using these services is to never let your “following” count get too high. In my experience, you should never be following over 1000 users at once, as any more than this indicates something suspicious.

How to use Instagram

If you followed the advice above, you should have a solid profile. Time to start putting it to work in the following situations:

For leads who don’t want to meet up right away

Instagram is better than text for leads that you may not be seeing for a couple weeks, as well as for girls in other countries that are part of a weak rotation. Because they’re constantly logging in, they’re going to be viewing your updates and will be reminded of you often.

As a close mechanism for daygame and night game

If you have a short interaction during daygame or night game and are unable to build enough attraction to give the girl a good idea of who you are, making her follow you on Instagram is a great alternative to text. She’ll often look at your profile right away and get an idea of your high value. No longer are you just a random guy on the street or in the club.

If you’re using it this way, make sure to also use my Instagram close technique.

DHV tool for online game

You should be linking your Instagram in every app and site you use, especially apps like Tinder and Bumble which limit you to a small number of photos and bio. If certain apps (like CoffeeMeetsBagel and The League) don’t allow you to link it directly, mention your profile name in your bio).

Girls do look at linked Instagrams and I’ve had more success getting girls out on dates when they are given a glimpse into the lifestyle I display on Instagram.

Cold DMs (not very effective)

A lot of guys claim you can use Instagram effectively by cold DMing or cold following girls you don’t know. I have done extensive testing on this and I don’t believe it’s worth the time in most markets.

For example, here are my stats from a test run I did following girls that had their Instagram linked to Tinder over the period of three months:

3041 girls followed (and liked three of their photos)
100 girls followed back (3.28%)
73 were hot enough to open
45 replied to opener
12 gave their number or agreed to date
1 date
0 bangs

Instagram in 2018 can be compared to MySpace in 2007. Were guys meeting girls on MySpace? Yes. As many as on or an actual dating app? No. So you are best resorting the DMing girls on Instagram out of the blue if you are running short on leads from other sites.

Now, keep in mind I live in the worst city in the US for men (San Francisco), so you may have different results in your city. I know that I’ve had as much as a 15-20% followback rate in other US cities. Go ahead and give it a try where you live and see if it’s worth your while.

That should be it for now. There are a few more complexities, tips, and tricks I’ll share in future posts, but if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments or use the Contact form on this blog to email me personally.

Note: this post was adapted from a guide to Instagram game I originally wrote for the RooshV forum.



A man has not truly mastered Game until he has begun to fill all his buckets.

I’ve mastered a number of skills in my life, and I’m of the opinion that being well-rounded does more for learning and skill crossover than focusing almost completely on one tactic or technique.

I think of the different types of Game as buckets filled with sand. As I read, share, and field test, my buckets fill up.

After two years of grinding, I consider myself an expert in online game. My bio and photos have been perfectly optimized. I know more about the Tinder algorithm than perhaps only Tinder employees, their friends, and maybe several hundred people worldwide. I know what works, what doesn’t, how to message, how to swipe, how to hack the system, hell, I’ve messaged with so many girls, I can even tell a catfish just by the way they text.

The problem with online game is that it involves minimal game. You get a system down, you use your blueprint-specific messaging sequence, the girls all respond in the same way, then you get her out on the date and run “don’t fuck it up” game. For sure, there are a myriad of different situations and girls you can run into, enough to keep it fun, but overall, it’s very formulaic.

Formulaic, rote systems destroy learning. Spontaneity and new experiences create opportunities for learning. And, as I wrote about in the second paragraph, stepping back and coming at skills from different angles often results in skill crossover – I’ve found that my daygame has gotten better from the few nightgame sessions I’ve done so far. This year, I’m going to set my online game on cruise control and focus on filling my other buckets.

In that interest, I’ve made a list of all the different game buckets I think exist:

  • Online game
    • Online fucking apps/sites
      • Threesome game
        • Fake threesome game
      • Headless photo and explicit bio game
    • Social media game (Instagram/Snapchat)
    • Sugar daddy game
      • Salt daddy game
  • Daygame
    • Street game
    • Venue game
    • Special event game (festivals, etc.)
      • Hired gun game
  • Nightgame
    • Club game
      • Promoter/table game
      • Hired gun game
    • Bar/lounge game
    • Stripper game/Escort (shoring) game
    • Threesome game/girl wing game
  • Social circle/social proof game
    • Friends group game
    • Setup game/party host game (Bilzerian, etc.)
    • Work game
    • Leader of the group game (lead singer in a band, instructor in a class, etc.)
    • Activity game (Meetup, etc.)
      • Language exchange game
    • “It just happened” game
      • AirBnB/Couchsurfing game
      • Math tutor game
      • Uber/Lyft driver game
    • Coke game

What am I missing?

The Greatest Compliment

Looking back through my old posts, I’ve noticed a trend of negativity. The main reason for this is that I have little time in my day to actively blog, and when I do, it’s usually to let off steam about the many frustrations of Game in San Francisco.

However, outside of how it may appear here, my life is actually incredible, and my feeling about Game at the moment is amazing as well. I feel like I’m finally starting to put all the pieces of the attraction puzzle together.

I had one of the best daygame experiences of my life this weekend. I got on BART and sat next to a stunning older Asian woman (her real age was probably late 30s, but like many Asian women of her prototype, she looked like she was in her late 20s). Everything about her radiated style and sex appeal, which is a rarity, because attractive women don’t tend to ride BART due to the unchecked delinquency and homeless population that have become more common over the past several years.

Without hesitation, I opened her indirectly. Everything about the interaction was on point. I teased her, we vibed about our careers (it turned out we were both entrepreneurs), touched her playfully, and made her laugh. After probing logistics and discovering we were getting out at the same station, I asked for her number. She politely declined, saying she was dating someone. I laughed and went with my standard reaction: “Well, they do say two is better than one, it is San Francisco after all…” which made her crack up.

I turned around and a 50-year-old man and his friend were staring at me, wide-eyed. They had gotten off on the same stop as us and were standing on the BART platform.

“I want to congratulate you. That, my friend, was a masterful performance.” He said. I thanked him and responded that it was just part of my everyday. He pressed: “No, that was incredible. You sat down next to an incredibly beautiful woman, you were confident, and you made it happen. That is extremely inspiring.” I laughed and told him he should do the same thing as me, but he held up his left hand, revealing he had been married for 30 years.

I will never forget the reaction on that man’s face. After two years in the Game, everything I did that night flowed naturally, but to the him, I was a hero.

I looked the woman up when I got home. She runs a 100-person company and is famous enough to have a Wikipedia article. Other men would have been scared to approach, but I treated her like my kid sister. Made me feel damn good.

Viva Game.

How to Instagram close – the Pancake way

You’ve done the work, built a high-value Instagram, and used automation to get thousands of followers (blog post on this coming soon), but how do you use it to close?

I see guys doing this wrong all the time. They’ll treat it like a number close and ask the girl for her Instagram. Wrong. This immediately puts you in the follower frame, and worse, unlike texting, if a girl doesn’t follow you on Instagram, your message will go in her “Message Requests” folder and she’ll probably never see it.

Voila, enter:

The Pancake Mouse method for Instagram closes:

1. Establish that Instagram is going to be the method of closing. “Do you have Instagram? Let’s follow each other and we can <do X date idea that you seeded>” She’ll reply in the affirmative.

2. Get her phone. Say you’re going to find your profile on it. Open Instagram, find yourself, and hit the follow button.

3. Then, send yourself a message from her. “I’m going to send a message from you so I have your insta.” Start writing a message and joke with her: “Hmm, what would you say if you were to message me? I’m guessing it would be some girly shit like ‘Heyyyy cutie, it’s <girl’s name>'”. At the same time, you’re writing this exact message and sending it to yourself, and she’s probably laughing and/or qualifying herself that she never uses that many Ys in a “hey”.

4. When you hand your phone back to her, give her some clickbait (credit: RSD Max) so that she checks out your profile right away and cements it in your mind. I usually say something like “You have to promise not to stalk me too much, OK?” or “You have to promise not to freak out when you see my profile, OK?” This immediately gets her curious about your profile, and often she’ll start stalking your photos right there. If this is a 2-set or mixed set, you can start bantering with the other people in her group while she sits there, entranced by your glistening, Adonis-like figure, your travel photos, your dog, or whatever the hell else you have on your profile. I did this on New Year’s and had two sisters scrolling through my ab photos with me watching and liking all of them.

5. A few hours after the interaction, or the next day (if nightgame), reply to her (your) message to yourself, and pitch the date as you would over text. I usually continue the banter from the night before by saying, “Wow, someone’s extremely complimentary” or teasing her about the amount of Ys she used in the “heyyyyy”.


Flaking in the Bay Area is out of control

In the past two weeks, I have had plans with seven different women. Only one of those women did not flake. This, gentlemen, is the story of the San Francisco Bay Area.

First, let’s define what a flake is. I’ve heard different vocabulary for many different types of flaking, and I’d like to propose a standard set of terms. So, in order of severity:

Being ghosted is when a girl stops responding to your messages at any point before a firm date/time/location is set for a date.

Being flaked on is when a girl cancels firm plans with an excuse.

Being stood up is when a girl confirms firm plans, then goes radio silent and does not show up for a date.

Looking at it on this scale, it gets even worse: three of the seven girls girls flaked and three stood me up.

Imagine getting a phone number and knowing there’s a 5% chance you’ll ever see the girl. Imagine scheduling a date and knowing there’s a 15% chance it will ever happen. Imagine questioning everything you know about your own attractiveness and self-worth because you set aside your time for a girl and she did not respect you enough to even inform you that she wasn’t going to show up.

That is life in the pit of Hell. This is life in San Francisco.

I have had bad streaks before, like last October, when 85% of my numbers ghosted/flaked, but this is much worse. Much worse because after that time, I analyzed my texting, I switched things up, I got less wordy and more direct. I started pitching dates directly on Tinder instead of bantering back and forth.

Yet, when you encounter cases like this, it makes you think all the work was for naught.

I’ll humbly post texts from the above cases for self-analysis.

1. 21 year old Tinder match. After some innocent flirty banter over Tinder and text, she level-jumped sexually. Typically, I would give her plausible deniability and flip it on her by accusing her of “corrupting” me or something similar, but with the encouragement of the Playing with Fire Facebook group, I decided to amp up the sexuality. She stood me up and unmatched me on Tinder.

2. 24 year old Tinder match. Pitched wine and whiskey at a bar near me. She flaked on confirming the time, likely not interested in how far it was away from her.

3. 35 year old Tinder match with “no hookups” in her profile. Decided to 2-date her Blackdragon style. At the end of date one, I could tell she wanted it, so we ended the date with a really passionate kiss near her car. I also seeded the second date in person with her before she left. She flaked when I confirmed time.

4. 23 year old Bumble match. This girl has actually matched me three times on different apps. Pitched dinner at mine, she agreed, she then didn’t respond when confirming exact time, then respawned in the afternoon with a flake.

5. 18 year old Tinder match. Sexual conversation, pitched vodka at mine. Worked out logistics, she confirmed the night before, then stood me up.

6. 20 year old, DMed her on Instagram, originally pitched dinner at mine. When the day came she was non-compliant and wanted me to meet her near her work in downtown SF. I played hardball but she didn’t give in. Met her downtown and hung out for 25 minutes, once I got compliance to physical touch (we were sitting on a couch with her head on my chest), I invited her back to mine. She gave an excuse about it being far away and said “next time”. I ended the date pretty abruptly after that.

The next day, I hit her up again and surprisingly she wanted to meet up that night. Again, pitched dinner at mine, she agreed, told her to let me know when she was boarding the train, then radio silence, standing me up.

So there you have it. The most amazing thing about these cases is that two of them actually involved girls I had seen at least once and had some level of investment with.

Not sure how much longer I can take this behavior.