A data-driven analysis: should you “double text/respawn/reinitiate” dead leads?

Actual texts my old FWB sent me from a Tinder guy, “Jordan”.

Some guys call it double texting. Others call it re-initiating. My preferred word is “respawning” (credit to a buddy from a great Misc tinder group chat I used to be in). Essentially, it means following up on a lead that has gone cold over text (or whatever platform you happen to be using).

Many coaches, like JMULV and Alex Vilenchik from Playing With Fire, advocate following up with cold leads via text three days after they’ve stopped responding. If I remember correctly, JMULV does this twice before letting the lead die.

But what’s the chance of this actually working? Is it worth the investment of time and mental energy? To my knowledge, no one has ever gone through the data and checked.

I went back through my spreadsheet and looked though my 67 notches in the 2.5 years I’ve been in the game. Of these, I secured four with a respawn:

  • One Chinese girl I had matched on Tinder, we flirted, things got sexual, but she eventually went cold after a few days. About six months later, I saw her when flipping through my Tinder and sent her a text again. She remembered me, happened to be horny, and invited me over to her place that night.
  • Another girl from Boston wouldn’t stop matching me on Tinder. I had gotten her number the first time, but she cancelled the date. Two weeks later, I respawned, set up a date, and then she ghosted when I tried to confirm. She then matched me on Tinder again, I messaged her, no response. A week later, after I had reset my account, she matched me a THIRD time, and after some messaging it was finally on. It was the most IOIs I had ever gotten on a date. Saw her a couple more times and eventually dropped her. She continues to chase me to this day.
  • A third Australian exchange student I got from a Tinder message respawn. She didn’t reply to my opener, so I sent her another message a week later. She responded and we met up that night. In person, I teased her about not responding and she said was legitimately busy, confirming that my double message “worked” to bring me to the top of your list.
  • The fourth girl was somewhat similar for the first. We matched when I was living in another city last summer. Brought things to text and she went cold. This summer, I matched her again, things got immediately sexual and we hooked up a few days later.

You’ll note that none of these are true “double texts” a lá JMULV: getting a girl’s number, having her go cold, and after a few days/weeks sending a ping text that magically revives her and leads to the notch.

According to my phone, I’ve gotten 695 numbers in the time since I’ve been actively gaming. Of those, I’ve probably attempted the double/triple text after a few days on around 350. It has never led to a bang. (And no, I didn’t send needy, boring texts like our friend Jordan in the image above. My respawn texts are always humorous, memes, or callback references to the conversation with the girl).

Conclusions:

  • The JMULV strategy of double/triple texting cold leads is not worth it. If she goes cold, she’s not interested, and the small amount of girls that might respond positively to this isn’t worth the physical and mental effort.
  • Mass/bulk restart texts aren’t worth it. This was an old PUA strategy of texting hundreds of ice-cold leads in your phone the same message. May have barely worked a decade ago, but now girls have too many options, and if it’s been over a month and you’re just another number in her phone, it’s over.
  • Respawning Tinder matches that haven’t responded is only worth it if you can automate it, and even the, probably a waste of time. Luckily, webapps like www.tind3r.com or Tinder for Web make it much easier to copy and paste.
  • Respawning cold leads that show renewed interest in you (you match with them again online, or maybe see them out during the day/night and have another positive interaction) is probably worth it.

But then again, this is just my experience. If anyone else wants to share their data, I would be happy to update my priors.

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“Value/comfort” or “r-/k-selected”?

I’ve been following Saul from Elite Social Skills and Social Prime lately. They’re a European/Australian pickup company, and they have a pretty good handle on female archetypes, one of my areas of interest.

In their Facebook group, they often throw around the terms “value girl” and “comfort girl”.

To quote Saul:

 

Girls (and human being in general for that matter) and NOT the same. They have different values, belief systems, social and cultural conditioning, goals, and desires (i.e Blueprints)

The girls that you meet out in the streets or the club when you cold approach will have varying ‘emotional blueprints’ – meaning that they respond to different behaviours, and that seducing and sleeping with them requires taking different routes

‘Comfort girls’ – are generally your typical girls who perceive themselves as ‘morally good girls’ with strong social conditioning, are not particularly comfortable with their sexuality, and need to ‘really know a guy’ before sleeping with him. This will be most girls that you meet out and are more difficult to get a ‘same night lay’ with. As the name implies, they require a lot of ‘comfort’ (as opposed to value/attraction) and this usually implies a longer time-frame of the seduction

‘Status oriented girls’ – are those who are quite comfortable with their sexuality, are not particularly sensitive to judgement, and are willing to sleep with a guy quickly not based on the emotional connection but are just screening for the highest value guy

Now, girls aren’t permanently stuck on one point along the scale – but rather they fluctuate depending on a myriad of variables – including but not limited to – their life situation, experiences, culture, city, point of their menstruation cycle, level of sexual experience, and a about a million other things

What really matters is not why they are where they are, but that you’re able to identify where they are and CALIBRATE.

If you start spitting hardcore negs at the super comfort girls because you saw it on a piece of infield triggering a strong reaction, you’re gonna get slapped in the face and alienate the people you’re speaking to.

And if you go all ‘Mr. connection mode’’ with a status oriented girl and aren’t able to position yourself as an authority in her reality, you’re gonna be left wondering why all these ‘bitchy girls blow you off’.

When you see hear stories of guys pulling multiple girls per night – it’s done by very aggressively screening for those status oriented girls’, piercing into their reality, communicating that you are the one and only best option, and dealing with any objectives that may come up – sounds simple. It’s not. It actually requires a lot of skills and possessing legitimate value.

Now, this is nothing new. Krauser has already covered this with his “r-selection vs. k-selection” terms, pulled directly from evolutionary biology: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R/K_selection_theory

However, I find single letters hard to differentiate, and I can’t be bothered to create a mnemonic for it.

From now on, I’ll be using the terms “value girl” and “comfort girl”, as they convey the qualities needed to best connect with these types of girls.

 

My Date Flake Rate in San Francisco is at 61% year-to-date

flakes

Note: a previous version of this post had the flake rate at 80%. Turns out I had forgotten a couple of girls I did end up meeting.

Finally ran the numbers and created the spreadsheet I’ve been visualizing for a while.

Note the stood up/ghost combo on April 8, and of course this past Wednesday when I triple booked three girls at the same time, and they all flaked.

Tally that up, boys, and imagine setting a date and knowing that 3 out of 5 times it’s not going to happen. That is reality in San Francisco.

At least I have a spreadsheet now so I can begin to isolate variables.

Pancake’s Basic Guide to Instagram Game

See also: How to Instagram close — the Pancake way

app-icon2

Instagram’s userbase continues to grow, and having a solid Instagram presence is becoming more and more useful in terms of making your life as a man easier by giving you social proof and demonstrating your value.

I have been experimenting with Instagram Game for a year and a half. Through trial and error and comparisons with other successful guys, I have a good handle on what works and what doesn’t.

Why develop your Instagram presence?

Instagram tends to polarize people.

The mantra among a lot of guys in the community (especially the more red-pill-inclined) is to avoid Instagram entirely because it’s a haven of beta-ization and attention whoring.

Other guys claim it’s the best tool in the world, will replace Tinder, and you should be opening every girl on it and putting Tinder on the backburner.

The reality is somewhere in between both of these claims. If used correctly, Instagram can be used to your advantage as a man to show off your lifestyle to women and increase their attraction to you. But if used incorrectly, it can be a time suck and cause you to spend hours scrolling through your feed with girls you’ll never fuck that don’t look half as good as they do in their photos.

At the end of the day, Instagram is one of the fastest-growing social networks in the world, and it is one of the only networks that is majority female. By using Instagram, you’re moving to where the ratios are best.

Your profile

Your profile should have a provocative name (not just your first and last name), a solid profile photo (make it a close-up of your face with a photo that is rated highly by girls), and a descriptive bio filled with DHVs (make it similar to a Tinder bio).

Then, onto the photos. If you’re starting from scratch, you can post a photo every day to build up your presence, but after six or so you’ll want to move to once every few days, or once a week.

The key here is quality over quantity. Every photo of yours should be a DHV that portrays you as a high-status guy and hits all the attraction switches:
– Leader of men
– Protector of loved ones
– Preselected by other women
– Ability to emote
– Risk taker

Next, you’ll want to define a niche (are you a DJ? Weightlifter? College dude? World traveler?) and put up photos in that niche that represent your personality.

All photos should be taken with a phone with a nice camera or a DSLR. At least half of the photos should have you in them. Remember that this is a marketing account for you as a man. While I’m sure your landscape vacation photos are great, at the end of the day, girls respond better to photos of people, and they want to make sure you were actually in the locations you said you were, rather than stealing photos from Flickr. Typical online apps advice about avoiding selfies applies.

I recommend using the Snapseed app on your phone to edit and color-correct your photos before posting, it’s better than Instagram’s built-in photo editing tools.

Stories can include selfies and can relax the “quality photo” requirement a bit, but most stories should be a DHV as well, not just the Egg McMuffin you had for breakfast this morning.

After following this advice, you should have a profile that looks more like this:

iamgalla

than like this:

johnmanson

Your followers

Having a lot of Instagram followers is a DHV and status signal. It makes girls curious about how many people follow you and why.

To get more followers, you’ll need to use services like https://www.followliker.com/ or https://www.combin.com, or https://instantical.com, which follow/unfollow users and like their photos, artifically growing your follow count. If you decide to take the plunge and buy Followliker, I recommend this guide to grow your page: http://imristo.com/the-ultimate-followliker-instagram-tutorial.

As few as 2,000 followers should set you apart from most guys, and I’ve found the sweet spot is around 10,000.

One thing to keep in mind when using these services is to never let your “following” count get too high. In my experience, you should never be following over 1000 users at once, as any more than this indicates something suspicious.

How to use Instagram

If you followed the advice above, you should have a solid profile. Time to start putting it to work in the following situations:

For leads who don’t want to meet up right away

Instagram is better than text for leads that you may not be seeing for a couple weeks, as well as for girls in other countries that are part of a weak rotation. Because they’re constantly logging in, they’re going to be viewing your updates and will be reminded of you often.

As a close mechanism for daygame and night game

If you have a short interaction during daygame or night game and are unable to build enough attraction to give the girl a good idea of who you are, making her follow you on Instagram is a great alternative to text. She’ll often look at your profile right away and get an idea of your high value. No longer are you just a random guy on the street or in the club.

If you’re using it this way, make sure to also use my Instagram close technique.

DHV tool for online game

You should be linking your Instagram in every app and site you use, especially apps like Tinder and Bumble which limit you to a small number of photos and bio. If certain apps (like CoffeeMeetsBagel and The League) don’t allow you to link it directly, mention your profile name in your bio).

Girls do look at linked Instagrams and I’ve had more success getting girls out on dates when they are given a glimpse into the lifestyle I display on Instagram.

Cold DMs (not very effective)

A lot of guys claim you can use Instagram effectively by cold DMing or cold following girls you don’t know. I have done extensive testing on this and I don’t believe it’s worth the time in most markets.

For example, here are my stats from a test run I did following girls that had their Instagram linked to Tinder over the period of three months:

3041 girls followed (and liked three of their photos)
100 girls followed back (3.28%)
73 were hot enough to open
45 replied to opener
12 gave their number or agreed to date
1 date
0 bangs

Instagram in 2018 can be compared to MySpace in 2007. Were guys meeting girls on MySpace? Yes. As many as on Match.com or an actual dating app? No. So you are best resorting the DMing girls on Instagram out of the blue if you are running short on leads from other sites.

Now, keep in mind I live in the worst city in the US for men (San Francisco), so you may have different results in your city. I know that I’ve had as much as a 15-20% followback rate in other US cities. Go ahead and give it a try where you live and see if it’s worth your while.

That should be it for now. There are a few more complexities, tips, and tricks I’ll share in future posts, but if you have any questions, feel free to leave them in the comments or use the Contact form on this blog to email me personally.

Note: this post was adapted from a guide to Instagram game I originally wrote for the RooshV forum.

 

Buckets

A man has not truly mastered Game until he has begun to fill all his buckets.

I’ve mastered a number of skills in my life, and I’m of the opinion that being well-rounded does more for learning and skill crossover than focusing almost completely on one tactic or technique.

I think of the different types of Game as buckets filled with sand. As I read, share, and field test, my buckets fill up.

After two years of grinding, I consider myself an expert in online game. My bio and photos have been perfectly optimized. I know more about the Tinder algorithm than perhaps only Tinder employees, their friends, and maybe several hundred people worldwide. I know what works, what doesn’t, how to message, how to swipe, how to hack the system, hell, I’ve messaged with so many girls, I can even tell a catfish just by the way they text.

The problem with online game is that it involves minimal game. You get a system down, you use your blueprint-specific messaging sequence, the girls all respond in the same way, then you get her out on the date and run “don’t fuck it up” game. For sure, there are a myriad of different situations and girls you can run into, enough to keep it fun, but overall, it’s very formulaic.

Formulaic, rote systems destroy learning. Spontaneity and new experiences create opportunities for learning. And, as I wrote about in the second paragraph, stepping back and coming at skills from different angles often results in skill crossover – I’ve found that my daygame has gotten better from the few nightgame sessions I’ve done so far. This year, I’m going to set my online game on cruise control and focus on filling my other buckets.

In that interest, I’ve made a list of all the different game buckets I think exist:

  • Online game
    • Online fucking apps/sites
      • Threesome game
        • Fake threesome game
      • Headless photo and explicit bio game
    • Social media game (Instagram/Snapchat)
    • Sugar daddy game
      • Salt daddy game
  • Daygame
    • Street game
    • Venue game
    • Special event game (festivals, etc.)
      • Hired gun game
  • Nightgame
    • Club game
      • Promoter/table game
      • Hired gun game
    • Bar/lounge game
    • Stripper game/Escort (shoring) game
    • Threesome game/girl wing game
  • Social circle/social proof game
    • Friends group game
    • Setup game/party host game (Bilzerian, etc.)
    • Work game
    • Leader of the group game (lead singer in a band, instructor in a class, etc.)
    • Activity game (Meetup, etc.)
      • Language exchange game
    • AirBnB/Couchsurfing game
    • Coke game

What am I missing?

The Greatest Compliment

Looking back through my old posts, I’ve noticed a trend of negativity. The main reason for this is that I have little time in my day to actively blog, and when I do, it’s usually to let off steam about the many frustrations of Game in San Francisco.

However, outside of how it may appear here, my life is actually incredible, and my feeling about Game at the moment is amazing as well. I feel like I’m finally starting to put all the pieces of the attraction puzzle together.

I had one of the best daygame experiences of my life this weekend. I got on BART and sat next to a stunning older Asian woman (her real age was probably late 30s, but like many Asian women of her prototype, she looked like she was in her late 20s). Everything about her radiated style and sex appeal, which is a rarity, because attractive women don’t tend to ride BART due to the unchecked delinquency and homeless population that have become more common over the past several years.

Without hesitation, I opened her indirectly. Everything about the interaction was on point. I teased her, we vibed about our careers (it turned out we were both entrepreneurs), touched her playfully, and made her laugh. After probing logistics and discovering we were getting out at the same station, I asked for her number. She politely declined, saying she was dating someone. I laughed and went with my standard reaction: “Well, they do say two is better than one, it is San Francisco after all…” which made her crack up.

I turned around and a 50-year-old man and his friend were staring at me, wide-eyed. They had gotten off on the same stop as us and were standing on the BART platform.

“I want to congratulate you. That, my friend, was a masterful performance.” He said. I thanked him and responded that it was just part of my everyday. He pressed: “No, that was incredible. You sat down next to an incredibly beautiful woman, you were confident, and you made it happen. That is extremely inspiring.” I laughed and told him he should do the same thing as me, but he held up his left hand, revealing he had been married for 30 years.

I will never forget the reaction on that man’s face. After two years in the Game, everything I did that night flowed naturally, but to the him, I was a hero.

I looked the woman up when I got home. She runs a 100-person company and is famous enough to have a Wikipedia article. Other men would have been scared to approach, but I treated her like my kid sister. Made me feel damn good.

Viva Game.

How to Instagram close – the Pancake way

You’ve done the work, built a high-value Instagram, and used automation to get thousands of followers (blog post on this coming soon), but how do you use it to close?

I see guys doing this wrong all the time. They’ll treat it like a number close and ask the girl for her Instagram. Wrong. This immediately puts you in the follower frame, and worse, unlike texting, if a girl doesn’t follow you on Instagram, your message will go in her “Message Requests” folder and she’ll probably never see it.

Voila, enter:

The Pancake Mouse method for Instagram closes:

1. Establish that Instagram is going to be the method of closing. “Do you have Instagram? Let’s follow each other and we can <do X date idea that you seeded>” She’ll reply in the affirmative.

2. Get her phone. Say you’re going to find your profile on it. Open Instagram, find yourself, and hit the follow button.

3. Then, send yourself a message from her. “I’m going to send a message from you so I have your insta.” Start writing a message and joke with her: “Hmm, what would you say if you were to message me? I’m guessing it would be some girly shit like ‘Heyyyy cutie, it’s <girl’s name>'”. At the same time, you’re writing this exact message and sending it to yourself, and she’s probably laughing and/or qualifying herself that she never uses that many Ys in a “hey”.

4. When you hand your phone back to her, give her some clickbait (credit: RSD Max) so that she checks out your profile right away and cements it in your mind. I usually say something like “You have to promise not to stalk me too much, OK?” or “You have to promise not to freak out when you see my profile, OK?” This immediately gets her curious about your profile, and often she’ll start stalking your photos right there. If this is a 2-set or mixed set, you can start bantering with the other people in her group while she sits there, entranced by your glistening, Adonis-like figure, your travel photos, your dog, or whatever the hell else you have on your profile. I did this on New Year’s and had two sisters scrolling through my ab photos with me watching and liking all of them.

5. A few hours after the interaction, or the next day (if nightgame), reply to her (your) message to yourself, and pitch the date as you would over text. I usually continue the banter from the night before by saying, “Wow, someone’s extremely complimentary” or teasing her about the amount of Ys she used in the “heyyyyy”.