Mythbusting: women actually care about physical attractiveness more than men do

Men care about looks, women care about personality.

Women don’t care much about looks, they just want a stable, nice guy with decent career prospects.

How often have we heard these truisms repeated in society? They’re also rampant in the red pill community, where men are told to “work on themselves”, building a great career and status, until at which point, they’re told, the women will come to them.

It’s a nice fantasy, isn’t it? The problem is that it’s not true, at least not anymore. Fifty years ago, these statements held weight, but they no longer apply in the age of hypergamy for girls in the age range men are looking to have sex with (pre-Wall women).

Let’s take a look at a 2008 study by Paul W. Eastwick and Eli J. Finkel, researchers in Northwestern University’s psychology department. The study is entitled Sex Differences in Mate Preferences Revisited: Do People Know What They Initially Desire in a Romantic Partner, and the fulltext can be found here.

They invited 163 undergraduate students to a two-hour speed-dating event, but first had them fill out questionnaires how important looks, personality, and earning power were in a partner. The pre-test results were about what you’d expect. Women placed the most importance (8.1/9) on personality, the second most (7.73/9) on earning prospects, and the least importance (7.18/9) on attractiveness.

However, look what happened when the researchers matched the students up and allowed them to contact each other after the event:


Of course. With society’s eye keenly watching as the female participants answered the study questions, they deluded themselves into thinking that a potential mate’s personality and earning potential were going to be the most important prospects.

But when they were allowed to covertly reach out to their “matches” after the event afterwards, reality set in: it was physical attractiveness, not personality or earning potential that was the most likely factor for the girls to message the guys.


1. Ignore what women say. Watch what they do.
2. Physical attractiveness is the most important component in female to male mate selection, not personality (Game) or money.

P.S. before I get any complaints about this only applying for younger women, the same results have been replicated in a couple other studies featuring older women:

Is the late fall/early winter really the worst time to meet new women?

Blackdragon has a recent post, The 12 Months and How They Relate to Dating and Relationships. In it, he rates November and December poorly:


Dating: 7/10. Another good month for dating, the last one of the year before November hits. Good month to get those last few online or daygame blitzes in.


Dating: 4/10. The first week it’s fair, but around the second week, it drops off into a dead zone where women are pretty much sexually unavailable (unless you’re already seeing them) until January 2nd. They’re either too busy with family and holiday stuff, or they’ve just boyfriend-ed up the nearest beta male so they can enjoy the holidays “with” someone. That means they’re not fucking you.


Dating: 2/10. The worst dead zone for dating and pick-up during the entire year. It’s so bad that after December 15th, you literally shouldn’t even bother, and should instead just wait until January 2nd when play time begins. I never look for new women during the months of November and December (unless something very unusual is going on) and you shouldn’t either.

Now, I personally feel that Blackdragon is too over-the-top with what he considers fact and tends to exaggerate, but I know he’s a data-driven guy, like myself, and he claims this information is compiled from spreadsheets he’s made going back to 2008. That’s five times as long as I’ve been in the game, so in this case I’m willing to listen.

In my case, I’ve been on a 7-week dry spell since early September. The first part of the dry spell is because I was disinterested and oversexed  — I fucked two girls the first day of September, one being an 18-year-old model, the hottest I had ever been with in my life, and then two days later, a girl with 32J tits — but I then moved back to my current hellhole of a city and everything has been dry as dust since.

Interestingly, I went back and looked at my spreadsheet from last year. It appears I had a three month dry spell from August 21 to November 27. I was then in the Dominican Republic for most of December and thus wasn’t picking up new girls in the US, so I can’t really speak to the US during December.

Right now, things seem tough. I’ve collected 16 numbers in the month I’ve been back, and met up with three girls. All dates went nowhere, and most of the numbers flaked. I’ve even had 3-4 of the girls not even respond to the first text after giving me their number from Tinder/Instagram, which is a new one.

This doesn’t bode well for the rest of the year. Time to see if I can break the streak.

You can’t be “alpha” over text

Too often I see guys try to be “alpha” or use “asshole Game” over text with girls they either haven’t met, or barely know.

Here’s a example of a particularly bad case, from RooshV Forum:


Here’s an example of a less bad case, from Cobrantula:

Come Thursday I texted the girl in the afternoon to make sure we were still on.  I decided to make her heart race a little.  I wrote:

me: Hey

her: Hey (forty minutes later)

me: About tonight

her: What about it

I knew those words made it sound like I was gonna bail.  I thought that was cool.  Maybe not.

me: bluebird @ 9

her: where is that

me: South Africa

As you can see I went with the Roissy, don’t ever answer a girl’s questions at face value.  She didn’t respond.

Here’s the first problem: any sense of nuance is lost over text. The smirk and self-amused laugh you’d expect to accompany these lines, if you were to deliver them in real life, is nowhere to be found (not even an emoji saves it, in my opinion).

Here’s the second problem: when you’re making plans to meet a girl in real life that you met online, she’s already playing into the societal expectations and rumors that “guys online are creeps and psycopaths” You’re also walking into a pit of hypergamy where girls have literally hundreds of safer options. Hell, it’s a miracle she’s even texting you at all.

Confident? Yes.

Assertive? Sure.

But don’t be an asshole over text.

Note: the further down the path you get with a girl, the more acceptable it is to use asshole game. But only if you have the personality for it. If you start acting like an asshole out of the blue because you’ve been reading the angry 16-year-olds on TheRedPill subreddit, you’re going to set off her congruence alarms and it’s not going to work.