Some guys call it double texting. Others call it re-initiating. My preferred word is “respawning” (credit to a buddy from a great Misc tinder group chat I used to be in). Essentially, it means following up on a lead that has gone cold over text (or whatever platform you happen to be using).
Many coaches, like JMULV and Alex Vilenchik from Playing With Fire, advocate following up with cold leads via text three days after they’ve stopped responding. If I remember correctly, JMULV does this twice before letting the lead die.
But what’s the chance of this actually working? Is it worth the investment of time and mental energy? To my knowledge, no one has ever gone through the data and checked.
I went back through my spreadsheet and looked though my 67 notches in the 2.5 years I’ve been in the game. Of these, I secured four with a respawn:
- One Chinese girl I had matched on Tinder, we flirted, things got sexual, but she eventually went cold after a few days. About six months later, I saw her when flipping through my Tinder and sent her a text again. She remembered me, happened to be horny, and invited me over to her place that night.
- Another girl from Boston wouldn’t stop matching me on Tinder. I had gotten her number the first time, but she cancelled the date. Two weeks later, I respawned, set up a date, and then she ghosted when I tried to confirm. She then matched me on Tinder again, I messaged her, no response. A week later, after I had reset my account, she matched me a THIRD time, and after some messaging it was finally on. It was the most IOIs I had ever gotten on a date. Saw her a couple more times and eventually dropped her. She continues to chase me to this day.
- A third Australian exchange student I got from a Tinder message respawn. She didn’t reply to my opener, so I sent her another message a week later. She responded and we met up that night. In person, I teased her about not responding and she said was legitimately busy, confirming that my double message “worked” to bring me to the top of your list.
- The fourth girl was somewhat similar for the first. We matched when I was living in another city last summer. Brought things to text and she went cold. This summer, I matched her again, things got immediately sexual and we hooked up a few days later.
You’ll note that none of these are true “double texts” a lá JMULV: getting a girl’s number, having her go cold, and after a few days/weeks sending a ping text that magically revives her and leads to the notch.
According to my phone, I’ve gotten 695 numbers in the time since I’ve been actively gaming. Of those, I’ve probably attempted the double/triple text after a few days on around 350. It has never led to a bang. (And no, I didn’t send needy, boring texts like our friend Jordan in the image above. My respawn texts are always humorous, memes, or callback references to the conversation with the girl).
- The JMULV strategy of double/triple texting cold leads is not worth it. If she goes cold, she’s not interested, and the small amount of girls that might respond positively to this isn’t worth the physical and mental effort.
- Mass/bulk restart texts aren’t worth it. This was an old PUA strategy of texting hundreds of ice-cold leads in your phone the same message. May have barely worked a decade ago, but now girls have too many options, and if it’s been over a month and you’re just another number in her phone, it’s over.
- Respawning Tinder matches that haven’t responded is only worth it if you can automate it, and even the, probably a waste of time. Luckily, webapps like www.tind3r.com or Tinder for Web make it much easier to copy and paste.
- Respawning cold leads that show renewed interest in you (you match with them again online, or maybe see them out during the day/night and have another positive interaction) is probably worth it.
But then again, this is just my experience. If anyone else wants to share their data, I would be happy to update my priors.