Break Down Your Daygame Opener Into 3 Phases

I’ve been mentoring a lot of beginner beginners lately, and a common thread I see is that they deliver the opener in one block. It usually sounds like:

“Hi this is random but I thought you were cute and I wanted to come meet you, I’m <name>”

On the surface, you’re probably thinking “What’s wrong with this?”

The problem is that when daygame opens are taught they’re usually in written form, without emphasis on when to pause and gauge the girls reaction before continuing.

If you spit your opener out in one block, you’re assaulting her with words without having any idea of where she stands on the matter.

The ideal opener looks like this:

Phase 1: Non-verbal pre-opener

Effort is low value. Minimal effort is high value.

The minimal effort you can do to open a girl is to use your hand and slowly wave it in front of your face to get your attention.

The other reason you want to do this is that most women will be wearing headphones and won’t be ready to hear your verbal pre-opener.

Take your hand and do one wave. Don’t do any fruity high-velocity waving. Just move your hand so that it floats in front of her face and grabs her attention.

Pause to gauge receptiveness

Where most newbies go wrong is that they don’t really have an idea of how the girl feels at this point. After you wave, pause for a beat. Unless she’s ready to receive your verbal pre-opener, don’t continue. Ready means:

• She’s looking at you
• Her headphones are off/out
• She’s not accelerating her movement to get away
• She doesn’t look shocked or scared

Statement of empathy

If she looks shocked or scared, you should give a statement of empathy:

• “My bad, didn’t mean to scare you”
• “Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you off guard”

This shows the girl that you’re a socially intuitive person that can read her emotions and also apologize for the situation.

If the frame seems better after this, continue directly to your opener. But if she’s still scared or is inching away, let her go (there is more you can do to persist, but this guide is aimed at beginners).

Phase 2: Verbal pre-opener

The verbal pre-opener is extremely simple: it consists of one or two words that lets her hear your voice while you look into her eyes for a second and gauge how receptive she is.

• “Hey”
• “Excuse me”
• “Ayo”
• “Yo”

If she’s not receptive, go back to the statement of empathy.

If she’s neutral, continue with the opener.

If she looks very receptive, well, now you have additional information to spice up the set immediately. You can inch closer, smile, smise her with your eye contact, and so on.

Phase 3: Opener

You know this by now.

• I like your…
• I fuck with your…
• I dig this <something> look you got going
• I thought you were cute…
• I thought you seemed interesting and…