How to Get Better

1. Pick an outer game framework, coach, mentor, community, or ideally some combination of the same. Examples include, but are by no means limited to:

• Game Solved (framework)
• Technical Game Bible (framework)
• Game Brotherhood NYC (community)
• Winner Within (community)
• Dante (coach)
• Ultimate Man Project (framework, coach, community)
• Austen Summers (coach, community)
• Manhattan Daygame (framework)
• London Daygame Model (framework)

Choose one framework and run with it. Do not confuse yourself by mixing multiple resources.

If you have a mentor, you don’t need a coach. Best way to get a mentor is to get into a community and show that you’re willing to be a sponge, have a positive vibe, and work really, really, hard. Never ask, they’ll come to you.

You want to get into the best, most exclusive community possible. This could be a forum, a groupchat, or even just a few wings. This will not happen right away. Join something general first and show you’re willing to work hard. Make the right connections and you’ll get invited in over time. This will also get you access to the best mentors.

If you can’t find a mentor, and you’re not good at teaching yourself, a coach is your best bet. Most coaches either suck or are outright scammers. Don’t do bootcamps, it’s too much information in too short of a time. Best is a pay-by-hour model. Local coaches are best, but you may have to travel if there are no good coaches in your location. Remote coaching is tough, go be in person if you can.

2. Pick at least one inner game framework / modality. Examples include, but are no means limited to:

• Authentic relating/circling/t group
• Psychodynamic therapy
• Talk therapy
• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Meditation
• Internal family systems
• Psychedelics
• Gratitude journaling
• Letting Go

These are all on different pages and require different levels of commitment. This list is just meant to be a random list of examples.

3. Devise a system (not goals). A system means that you do the same x things every y amount of time. A sample system could be:

• Daygame 3 days a week
• Nightgame 2 nights a week
• Set up profiles and swipe on Tinder and Hinge for 15 minutes a day
• Lift weights three times a week
• Meditate 15 minutes a day
• Do group therapy with wings one a week
• Go to talk therapy once a week
• Do a skincare routine once a night
• Write field reports for every outing and date and post them in your community
• Record all your sets and send in your community for analysis
• Keep your community apprised of how you’re doing with inner game

A lot of guys think they need to set goals. Don’t set goals.

4. Keep a running list of outer and inner game sticking points

Write these down, keep them in your notes file, add new ones whenever they come up, and remove old ones whenever you’ve solved them. A sample list of outer and inner game sticking points might look like:

Outer Game

• When I pursue sets after losing compliance, I appear weak in both body language, tonality, and vibe. I need to square up and get in front of sets and stop them with masculinity.
• When vibing, I have too much fun for the sake of fun. It’s just random goofing off. Fun needs to be calibrated towards a purpose rather than just random riffing.
• I overuse alpha Kratos God of War fist down rage energy to shut down frames instead of playing with the frame and battling.
• I build only surface-level comfort. I need to build deep comfort and connection comfort.
• I show my cards too early with girls that I actually get along with. I need to be indifferent, mysterious, cagey. It should not be you that’s opening up to the girl and telling her about your feelings. It should be her who’s opening up to you because she likes you and feels safe around you.
• I fail to deploy Active Frame Control: recognizing the metaframe of the interaction and challenging the girl on frames to put her in my frame. Passive frame control, or being reactive to the frame a girl is setting, is not enough. Unless she’s actively in your frame, you are in hers.
• When frame battling, I play the defensive and qualify to the girl instead of flipping the frame completely around and putting her on her heels to qualify to me.
• I don’t ground my sets: “there’s no point where you slow down and get into a deeper convo about motivations/passions/dreams” (Storm). Even when I do, it’s too surface-level. I need to get to the point where the girl is saying things like “I can’t believe I’m telling you this right now.”

Inner Game

• I lack killer instinct. I don’t have the ability to just tap into winner mode like Dante, Kobe, or Michael Jordan can do. I have only brought this out rarely. If I want to be the best I can be, I need to figure out a way to harness this.
• I’m stupidly impatient. I just want to get every interaction over with and fuck the girl already. This leads to me rushing things (like not building enough comfort when a girl is back at my apartment) and making errors at critical moments (such as texting too fast without thinking).
• I have a big ego, am fairly stubborn and very skeptical. This makes it hard for me to accept new information that doesn’t fit my worldview. I prefer to do things “my way”, even when it hinders learning. I should learn to assign more weight on things my wings say when I know they have much more experience than me.
• I treat Game as a true “Game”. I’m in this way more for the fun and self-development than for the sex and true enjoyment of women. I find it hard to authentically connect with women (e.g. little retention, never had a crush on a girl in school, never been in a relationship). This perceived inauthenticity hinders my results with comfort girls and hurts my retention with most women, even when they are just looking for sex.

5. Execute consistently and be patient. Progress isn’t linear, and you’re not going to be better overnight. Getting good takes years of daily practice.