Yohami’s Rules of Text Game

Context: way, way back in the day (actually like 2-3 years ago, but feels like forever ago due to the pandemic), we would all gather on Nash’s blog, Days of Game, and argue with/learn from master Yohami. On one of the posts in March 2018, Yohami compiled the best information on text game I’ve ever seen. I still refer people to it regularly, but it’s poorly formatted and buried in a comments section, so I’ve organized it and reposted it here.

What follows are Yohami’s words, not mine. But I wholly endorse them.

Rule 1: Gruesome Work is Death

When your self-perceived value is beneath the girl’s (you’re bottom guy), closing that gap is “gruesome work”, and is unattractive.

Any and all of your work deflates your value and pushes you down further to the bottom.

Anyone telling you that “pickup is work” / “seduction is gruesome work” is working on filling the gap of value from bottom guy to the girl’s value.

This is seduction as an uphill battle, and at the end of the day it can’t be won – any success means the girl either doesn’t see you as bottom (she gets the right combination of value so she pushes aside or can’t see what’s actually happening), or is intentionally exploiting your bottom frame and benefiting form all your free work.

So any success while in the bottom frame is either:

A) Her actual self perceived value is under yours, so to her you’re not bottom (thus all your work was unnecessary). This disorients you as you don’t know exactly what you did to get this girl – it’s not something you can repeat on command, so what happened?

OR

B) She’s taking you BECAUSE of the value gap AND because she benefits from all the work you’re putting in. This is the real danger as it gives you a taste of validation. This one teaches you to work more, and fixates you on specific things you did that somehow don’t tend to repeat and can’t get another girl by working the same exact bits, but you keep trying!

When I’m writing about seduction here, I’m always talking about case A, The girl who is seeing you as above her value and is offering compliance, is turned on, is not playing machiavellian games, doesn’t want your demise. The girl who is HAPPY to see you UP, wants your leadership, wants to play the feminine to your masculine. So that’s the context for all that follows.

Type A girls are the majority, it’s the natural order of things, they all want the top guy and run away from the bottom guy. You playing bottom guy games explains the super high rejection rate in PUA; basically you’re screening all of them out. Then end with a handful of girls who have a self perceived value inferior than yours, girls who actually see the “top guy” in you in spite of all the unnecessary gap/closing games you’re playing, AND a bunch of type B girls, vampires, crazies, dysfunctional girls who likely have “holes” in their personas and require external work for them to be functional, AKA they are using your bottom guy work for their own sustenance. But the more you work on them, the more you have to work!

Death.

What would be non-death?

Seduction without any of the gruesome work. Seduction with no work put in whatsoever. Seduction for the type A girls. Seducing “girls who like you”

Heh. Seducing girls who like you!

But is it possible? yes.

Here I’ll write about how Beta is death, then do some pointers to illustrate the difference.

Rule 2: Chase is Death

When the girl perceives you’re bottom, she’ll raise walls. Any attempt to bring these walls down by putting in more “work” only increases the value difference, and likely makes her raise the walls some more.

Rule 3: Beta Impersonation is Death

One of the “gruesome work / ways to fill the gap” behaviors that come from bottom frame is the adoption of a beta personality. But what is it?

“I am like you, and I’m not a threat.”

Basically “friendship”.

Any time where you’d require the girl to engage in your SAME EXACT BEHAVIOR for things to work out.

Asking questions, but she doesn’t ask any? Telling stories, but she doesn’t tell any? You’re investing, but she doesn’t invest back?

Would that be solved if she would JUST do the same as you’re doing?

Then you’re playing a beta game.

Do you want the girl to behave like you?

Then you’re acting like a girl.

You can’t get a girl to “chase you” or invest, or ask questions, or tell the truth, or anything, by “leading by example”. You need to LEAD, but you can’t “lead by example”

Seduction, or “the courtship’ is not about sameness.

Rule 4: Beta Interrogation is Death

When you ask questions, then act as if you care about the answers she gave you (and believe anything she says), and proceed to ask more questions.

So the energy is going down and you try to fill that gap by asking more stuff.

Hey, if she would just engage more and ask questions back, everything would be fine!

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Me: Are you going to university?
Her: yes
Me: What do you study?
Her: Medicine
Me: Do you know how to stitch a wound?
Her: I do

or:

Me: How many boyfriends have you had?
Her: one
Me: Did you kiss?
Her: a little
Me: Are you a virgin???????
Her: …yes?

(Nash, we’ve found another one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Rule 5: Beta Storytelling is Death

1) When you’re giving unprompted information / telling stories that require her to be invested and ask more information for any of it to work.

If she would just care, everything would be fine!

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Me: I have an uncle that studies architecture
Her: oh yeah?
Me: Yes, he went to Boston
Her: oh
Me: my other uncle studied engineering
Her: …
Me: When I was a kid I wanted to be a veterinarian
Her: puppies are cute!
Me: I liked cows…

---

2) When you’re telling stories or sharing unprompted information that serves the purpose of telling her “I’m like you / I’m in your tribe.”

If she would just find this sameness attractive, everything would be fine!

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Her: Im ecuadorian
Me: (talking with latin american accent) hola como estas??
Me: I went to ecuador, muy bonitas playas! (beautiful beaches)
Her: yes… they are pretty
Me: I know how to cook enchiladas, look at this enchilada I made (shows picture)
Her: …

Rule 6: Beta Roleplaying is Death

A “roleplay” is when you narrate a reality outside of normal reality, make it about you both, and this progresses escalation. So, a “beta” roleplay takes you out of the equation, makes it just about her, and puts her on a pedestal to be admired. Or: take all the edge of a roleplay, tamper down all the tease, and fill it with compliments.

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Me: I have to tell you I like your style!
Her: yeah?
Me: You have a flair… look like a singer, I can imagine you on your room trying on a dress and singing to the hairbrush…
Her: …hehe
Me: Singing britney spears songs!
Her: oh I like britney spears
Me: (impersonating) Toxic!! you’re like tooxic to mee!

A few minutes later:

Me: I have an uncle that studied medicine
Her: …
Me: His name is frank
Her: ok
Me: Good music here don’t you think?
Her: yes I like it
Me: I have a friend in a band, they play…
Me: What kind of music do you listen to?
Her: I like cumbia
Me: (dancing) cumbia is like this right?
Me: my friend pedro used to dance cumbia

Breaking down Dardo’s texts and assembling more rules:

ME: Hey, how are you doing?
ME: Are you the new Jessica Jones already? 😉
HER: Hii! Good and you? Yeah, I’m knocking lots of doors (muscle emoji)
ME: Awesome. you’re gonna make it.
ME: I’m great, just came back from swimming. I feel like a piece of silk now.
ME: Which day are you free this week to go grab a drink?
HER: Hahaha, I love swimming! (Jajaja, qué rico nadar!).
HER: Look, on Thursday I’ll go away for the long weekend and I’ll come back on Monday.

—————————————————————————————————————————

ME: Hey, how are you doing?

Without her name or a nickname, this is 100% rapport. If you initiate with rapport, break it.

Rule 7: Rapport is Unattractive, Breaking Rapport is Attractive

Breaking rapport means breaking the flow of a boring conversation with something more interesting, a flirt, a tease, a call to action. So if you do rapport like this:

Me: Hey pocahontas, how are you doing?
Me: Let’s go get that drink

THIS above is good game. The “how are you doing?” does generate some of the good things associated with rapport, but it’s set aside immediately with a call to action. It “ramps” into the call to action. So:

Rule 8: Use Ramps Before Call to Actions

Before asking her or telling her to do something, make sure she’s receptive. Sometimes you need to wait for her to be in receptive mode, sometimes you can “assume” she’s receptive.

So you can do:

Me: Hey pocahontas, how are you doing?
Her: Im fine you?
Me: Im great. Ready for that drink?
Her: Yes I am 🙂

That above is her compliance, she’s receptive. Then you reward:

Me: Awesome

Then you do the call to action:

Me: Let’s do this wednesday at XXX at XXX

So – this is still “long form,” and depending on the energy level you can make it shorter by assuming she’s receptive. My favourite line, and I can’t believe you guys are not using it, goes like this:

Me: When are you free? I’ll take you out

Note that this doesn’t have a day on it, a week, a year, it’s open ended, it’s not sticking, not pushing, it’s as up in the air as possible. The next “I’ll take you out” is not a question, it’s what will happen. THIS above is how I frame the interactions since the beginning. It assumes the thing will happen. I don’t ask or wait until she is receptive, because knowing female cycles, she WILL be receptive someday, so when that day happens, she’s mine. I don’t really care when, but the longer she takes the more likely I’m going to be busy banging someone else.

So this shorter form assumes she’s receptive (someday, probably now).

Assuming she’s receptive, when done easy and right, usually makes her receptive because this assumption is, on itself, attractive. It comes from “Everyone is receptive to my advances so this interaction will go well too.”

Here are some more variations:

Me: Hey pocahontas 😉
Me: Ready for that drink?

or

Me: Hey pocahontas, ready for that drink? 😉

Rule 9: Assume Attraction, Assume Success, Assume Non-Friction

This is “go for the openings and not the walls, the walls are not your problem”. Go into the interaction assuming that she’s been thinking about you, has been waiting for you. This isn’t something that you have to “turn on” over text, but something that should be there, with you, as your natural assumption ALL THE TIME, when you look at her, when you say hi, when you do things.

This assumption is simply “the game you play”. This is the sort of interaction you’re doing with people, and nothing else. you’re the one they like.

Or you don’t play with them.

Which is demonstrated in that you don’t chase them, don’t try to impress them, and are not reactive to their approval or disapproval, and don’t get trapped in their problems and obstacles.

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Back to you:

ME: Hey, how are you doing?
ME: Are you the new Jessica Jones already? 😉

The second line is again rapport, so that makes your text twice as rapport. You add an emoji at the end, but you are not “flirting’.

You are “caring”

When she replies this:

HER: Hii! Good and you? Yeah, I’m knocking lots of doors (muscle emoji)

Note how she’s not in any way sexual, and she’s not replying anything to YOU, you framed it as not being between you and her, but you’re doing small asexual chat about a third external thing. Do you see how she ignores YOU?

But whose fault is that? It’s yours. You put her on a pedestal to be admired. Here’s the worst offender:

“ME: Awesome. you’re gonna make it.”

This is so bad, this is the reason I’m making this longer form breakdown with rules and stuff. Who are you in this interaction? Here’s a clue:

Grandmother: Hi how are you doing? did you get that job already??
Kid: no grandma! but I keep going to interviews!!
Grandmother: Ohh keep knocking doors, you’re going to make it!!

Why are you being her grandma? Why do you care?

I don’t think you care. If you cared you wouldn’t be changing the subject from jobs to taking her out.

The REASON you’re talking to her, your actual goal, is to bang her. The REASON you’re texting her and talking to her at all is because you want your dick in her.

But when you contact her, first you say: HEY I CARE by doing rapport.
Then you say: HEY I CARE ABOUT YOUR WORK.
Then you say: I BELIEVE IN YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT!

Then you switch and say: “DO YOU WANT SOME DICK NOW?” with the call to action

So the value you are offering her, the way you’re framing this interaction, is your beta putting her on a pedestal status.

Everything is fucking wrong about it.

First, it means your value is soooo under her, you are filling the gap very hard. You’re giving her a reason to look at you.

Rule 10: Stop Giving a Fuck About Her

She’s got a job? She can quit it.
She’s got plans? She can cancel them.
She’s got problems? Why do you care?

How does that relate to the main, most important going on at the moment, which is you?

Ah, she’s got other things going on that are more important than you at the moment? No problem and good luck princess, ping me when your head is in the right place.

You’re not her therapist.
You’re not her friend.
You’re not the recipients for her complaints about other people.
You’re not her helper.
You’re not her backrubber.
You’re not her cheerleader.

Because.

You.

Don’t.

CARE.

If respect has to be earned, CARE needs to be earned plus a million. What has she done for you exactly to get you invested to the point your emotions go up and down attached to her fucking JOB? Why would you care about her problems? Do you think she cares about yours?

So when you go after a girl signaling that you care, what you are saying, really, is that “care” is the value you have to offer. “Care” is a very expensive commodity and should only be spent on close friends, mutually beneficial, tested relationships.

By opening her with “care” you’re framing this as a relationship where you’re her grandmother, you are below her, like a safe pillow she can fall into – a pillow with a dick.

So you are saying, you’re not the dick she’s hunting.

What is the dick she’s hunting? One above her.

Rule 11: The Prettier the Girl, The More Direct Your Game Needs To Be

A girl’s only sexual drive is hypergamy.

So you’re trying to bang this girl? You need to signal you’re higher in value than she is, because girls only sexual drive is hypergamy. This means you can’t at the same time play a game where you are under her, and the tolerance for this kind of behavior is less the more pretty the girl is, simply for the reason that the more pretty a girl is, the more she’s hit on by alphas, which means you are always being compared against more top guys.

The bar gets set higher the prettier the girl. She has more direct, self-reassured, “cleaner”, stronger men to compare you against. You have less room for bullshit.

Direct still doesn’t mean chase-y, and doesn’t mean caring.

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Back to you

ME: I’m great, just came back from swimming. I feel like a piece of silk now.
ME: Which day are you free this week to go grab a drink?

More rapport bs, but at least this time you broke it.

Look at this:

ME: Which day are you free this week to go grab a drink?

Compare it to this, fixed:

ME: When are you free? Let’s grab that drink

Do you see it?

The first part, I don’t include “this week” because that’s putting constraints and obstacles. Maybe she’s got “this week” full of books to read or dicks to suck – not my problem. By saying “this week” she may reply with “this week Im busy” which is just a setup for me to chase her. Next week then? “busy”, ok “the week after this week after that week???” mmm I think I’m busy, hey my mom is calling see ya!

Chase is death.

So to prevent that, don’t inject your own obstacles in the call to action.

The other part of that phrase, I say “LETS GRAB THAT DRINK”, “Let’s” is a command, and “that drink” frames it as our previous agreement, so I’m treating this as a defacto thing that will happen, again. Now compare it again:

“Which day are you free this week to grab a drink”

It’s needy and pushy. Inches, but every inch counts. And this, in an interaction where you just opened like you’re her grandma. These inches multiply exponentially, especially when this girl is pretty and is being sweet talked by Pablo and Mario. Who are you in that context?

Back to her:

Her: Hahaha, I love swimming!

She makes it about her. Note the pattern? Girls always making everything about them. Did she tell you “good for you I’m proud that you swim” No? “You’ll reach all of your swimming objectives keep going” No? What? She doesn’t care about you? She made it about herself.

To bang a girl you need to make it about her. About you and her.

Rule 12: Make it About You and Her

Make it about her because all women are self-entitled center of the universe, are always right and can’t ever be wrong type of creatures. That’s because they are emotion, and “emotion is always right”.

So you make it about her by addressing the cues she gives you, make it about you, and signal that you’re a top guy by exhibiting top guy behavior, and make it about the two of you with roleplay, storytelling, call to actions, and flirting.

Other subjects, stories, jobs, etc. only make sense when you are making them about you two. She is also HELPING YOU go there. For example, when you say you went swimming, and she replies that she likes to swim, the only reasonable thing to say back is that you two should go swimming together:

Me: oh cool (reward)
Me: Let’s go swimming, where do you practice?
Her: blah blah
Me: I’ve got a pool at home 😉 Let’s do a night naked dip
Her: hahahaha

FUCK HER, DUDE 🙂

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Back to you.

HER: Look, on Thursday I’ll go away for the long weekend and I’ll come back on Monday.

She’s traveling with Mario and Pablo. She doesn’t offer a raincheck.

“I’m gonna write her that’s awesome and tell her to write me when she comes back.”

No, don’t do that. If the interaction had been progressing better, I’d say “Let’s have a drink before you go”, but she just gave you a wall and there’s no raincheck. This was a very shitty interaction and it needs to be reframed immediately.

If you do the top guy thing that is to push her away – she’s actually getting what she wants because you have zero value right now. So if you say

“Aight, have fun”

She will, have lots of fun, and never come back to you.

“Awesome, ping me when you’re back”

Likewise, this will never happen. Not based on this interaction.

So make it a point that she has to rank you RIGHT NOW. This is usually a bad idea unless she’s closer to DTF, but you have to shake the grandma off, by doing something grandma doesn’t do: Try to fuck her.

READ CAREFULLY:

Me: Let’s have a drink on wednesday when you’re back
Me: We can also have to today so you go on your trip with a smile on your face 😉

So

Me: Let’s have a drink on wednesday when you’re back

This is taking her wall, I acknowledge, and bend to her. Im still doing it as a “Let’s” so it’s a command. But then

Me: We can also have to today so you go on your trip with a smile on your face 😉

This is now IGNORING her fucking wall, taking an opportunity, and going for the kill. It also assumes attraction and success, she’ll go on her trip happy after a good fuck. All this bravado and taking action has been missing in your interaction which is how you’re missing out on the fun.

This will arouse her, maybe shake off the grandma impression.

Her: hahahaha

Then she will either say yes or no

Her: Ok I can on wednesday (you bang her)
Me: Caracas Bar 8pm

Or a wall

Her: I can’t today but we can talk about it when I come back
Me: Cool, ping me when you know (and let her go)

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And here’s what the cleaner game would look like:

ME: Hey Jessica Jones 😉
HER: Hii! How are you?
ME: Sore because I went swimming, I feel like a piece of silk!
HER: Hahaha I love swimming!
ME: Me too, Let’s go for a skinny dip sometime 😉
HER: hahaha maybe 😀
ME: When are you free? Let’s grab that drink
HER: Look, on Thursday I’ll go away for the long weekend and I’ll come back on Monday.
ME: … and you’re free when?
HER: hahaha next week after monday?
ME: Ok we can go on wednesday after you’re back
ME: Or we can do it today so you go on your trip with a happy face 😉
HER: Hum..
ME: I vote today!
HER: I can tomorrow before the trip, but I have to go to bed at 10pm!!
ME: No problem, I’ll get you in bed before 10pm 🙂
HER: hahahaha
ME: See you at caracas bar 8pm
HER: ;-x

Bang bang bang

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That above still has friction, this is what it should look like when you just do things and are congruent since the beginning. If you see my text messages, they are all puzzles pre-solved, because all the stuff is already there

ME: Hey Jessica Jones 😉 ready for that drink?
HER: Hii! How are you? yes 🙂 🙂
ME: Im awesome 🙂 Let’s go today? See you at caracas bar 8pm
HER: ;-x

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THAT is what you have to aim for.