I have an abnormally low rate of getting girls out on dates, and I’m trying to figure out why this is.
So here are all 25 numbers I collected in October (all from online), my notes, and a screenshot of the texts before the flake, if relevant.
I’ve categorized these the following ways:
- Ghost – she stops responding before or after I pitch the date
- Flake – she flakes on an actual date where we had plans set
- I lost interest
- In Play
- French au pair from Instagram. I think I pitched four different nights, none of them worked for her, then I went away for four days, pinged her again, and she didn’t respond. Ghost.
- Pitched homemade gourmet food at my place for this girl. She responded positively on Tinder, she amped up the sexuality, I spiked back, then she stopped responding when I pitched the date. Ghost.
- Mexican girl from Instagram. Met up for daytime coffee three weeks ago. She hasn’t made it work since for a day 2, likely because she lives 20 miles away, has no car, and doesn’t know how to use public transport. Met.
- Cal student from Instagram. Never responded to initial transition text, but then sent me “Hi” on Instagram two weeks in a row. I responded each time and she didn’t respond back. Ghost.
- Instagram. Suspected she was a catfish because she was hot, had no tagged photos, and only guys commenting on her photos. Started texting, she asked me to send her money so she could eat dinner, out of nowhere, then backpedaled when I called her out on it. Verified via her Instagram stories later that she was actually real. I lost interest.
- Colombian girl planning on visiting SF and swiping here from Tinder. Got her WhatsApp to take her out when she got here, then she stopped responding after two texts. Ghost.
- Tinder girl, didn’t respond to initial transition text. Ghost.
- Turned out to be a male-to-female transsexual, didn’t inform me of this until we were already supposed to meet up. Claimed it was on her Tinder profile (it wasn’t), and then said “Tinder fucked me again.” I lost interest.
- Tinder girl that claimed she was in a committed relationship and was looking for “friends” in her bio. Didn’t respond to initial transition text. Responded to respawn text I sent a week later, I asked for her Instagram, messaged her on there, she didn’t respond. Ghost.
- Instagram close, didn’t respond to transition text. Ghost.
- USF student. Chatting for a bit, I went out of town, then pinged her with a photo and upon response, said “we should meet up later”. She couldn’t, gave an ambiguous response, then didn’t respond to my request for clarification. Ghost.
- Instagram close who lives ~25 miles away. I texted her, no response. I follow up on Instagram, turns out she sent me the wrong number. Then, we make plans, but my phone had a bug where I was missing random text messages. Takes us a week to clear that one up, I make plans again, she tentatively confirms, saying she might be sick, then the morning of, cancels, saying she’s sick. Flake.
- Italian au-pair. Chatting for a bit, I got busy and waited five days to respond to her text and she didn’t respond after that. This one’s on me. Ghost.
- Stopped responding after a few texts. Ghost.
- Texted back and forth for a week. She invited me to a bar on a Wednesday, I couldn’t make it, asked to reschedule, she said she’d let me know. She respawned with “peekaboo”, I responded, no response from her. Ghost.
- Cute 22-year old from Tinder that was really into my text game. Canceled on date 1 during the week, then asked me at 9 PM Saturday what I was up do (I had plans). I got back to her Sunday and said I was free that night, no response. I respawned a week later, she seemed receptive to a date, I told her time/location, then she didn’t respond to my confirmation text. Flake.
- Tinder. Didn’t respond to initial transition text. This same girl had ghosted me before about a year ago. Ghost.
- Turned out to be fatter than expected, I lost interest. I lost interest.
- Insane Asian girl with one of the worst commands of English I’ve experienced. Asked for a photo because she only had one up and she stopped responding. Ghost.
- Black girl from Atlanta from Instagram. Met.
- Hot girl from Sacramento who comes to SF on weekends. Extremely interested on Tinder, flirting with me hard, then stopped responding after one Snapchat exchange (maybe she saw my face and got turned off?) and didn’t respond to photo ping. Ghost.
- Travel nurse from the Midwest. Wouldn’t give me a firm date when she’s free because she works all the time. Last weekend when I asked she said she’d be free this weekend, then I asked when she’d be free this weekend and she claims she’s working. In Play, but likely Ghost.
- Spanish girl from Bumble. Didn’t respond to my Halloween photo ping. Ghost.
- Flaked date 1 because she had to work late, then offered to reschedule. We rescheduled for the next day, then she didn’t respond to my confirmation text and unmatched me on Tinder. Flake.
- Hot girl from Portland. Have a date scheduled tonight. I have a feeling she’s going to flake, because I had to venue change the morning of due to logistics. In Play, but likely Flake.
That leaves me with the following statistics:
- 25 numbers
- 14 ghosted
- 3 flaked (two out of the three flaked twice on two different dates)
- 3 met
- 3 I lost interest
- 2 in play (but do not look promising)
Throwing out the two in play and the three where I lost interest, that’s 3 girls out of 20 numbers, which would indicate a flake rate of 85%.
Why so high? Well, a few hypotheses:
- I live in San Francisco, one of the hardest cities in the US for game
- I live in San Francisco, one of the flakiest cities in the US in terms of overall culture
- I go for too many numbers and chase weak leads
- I’m not decisive enough when asking for the date and leave many girls to languish
- My text game isn’t good enough
Curious to hear what you guys think.