I have an abnormally low rate of getting girls out on dates, and I’m trying to figure out why this is.

So here are all 25 numbers I collected in October (all from online), my notes, and a screenshot of the texts before the flake, if relevant.

I’ve categorized these the following ways:

  • Ghost – she stops responding before or after I pitch the date
  • Flake – she flakes on an actual date where we had plans set
  • Met
  • I lost interest
  • In Play
  1. French au pair from Instagram. I think I pitched four different nights, none of them worked for her, then I went away for four days, pinged her again, and she didn’t respond. Ghost.
  2. Pitched homemade gourmet food at my place for this girl. She responded positively on Tinder, she amped up the sexuality, I spiked back, then she stopped responding when I pitched the date. Ghost.
  3. Mexican girl from Instagram. Met up for daytime coffee three weeks ago. She hasn’t made it work since for a day 2, likely because she lives 20 miles away, has no car, and doesn’t know how to use public transport. Met.
  4. Cal student from Instagram. Never responded to initial transition text, but then sent me “Hi” on Instagram two weeks in a row. I responded each time and she didn’t respond back. Ghost.
  5. Instagram. Suspected she was a catfish because she was hot, had no tagged photos, and only guys commenting on her photos. Started texting, she asked me to send her money so she could eat dinner, out of nowhere, then backpedaled when I called her out on it. Verified via her Instagram stories later that she was actually real. I lost interest.
  6. Colombian girl planning on visiting SF and swiping here from Tinder. Got her WhatsApp to take her out when she got here, then she stopped responding after two texts. Ghost.
  7. Tinder girl, didn’t respond to initial transition text. Ghost.
  8. Turned out to be a male-to-female transsexual, didn’t inform me of this until we were already supposed to meet up. Claimed it was on her Tinder profile (it wasn’t), and then said “Tinder fucked me again.” I lost interest.
  9. Tinder girl that claimed she was in a committed relationship and was looking for “friends” in her bio. Didn’t respond to initial transition text. Responded to respawn text I sent a week later, I asked for her Instagram, messaged her on there, she didn’t respond. Ghost.
  10. Instagram close, didn’t respond to transition text. Ghost.
  11. USF student. Chatting for a bit, I went out of town, then pinged her with a photo and upon response, said “we should meet up later”. She couldn’t, gave an ambiguous response, then didn’t respond to my request for clarification. Ghost.
  12. Instagram close who lives ~25 miles away. I texted her, no response. I follow up on Instagram, turns out she sent me the wrong number. Then, we make plans, but my phone had a bug where I was missing random text messages. Takes us a week to clear that one up, I make plans again, she tentatively confirms, saying she might be sick, then the morning of, cancels, saying she’s sick. Flake.
  13. Italian au-pair. Chatting for a bit, I got busy and waited five days to respond to her text and she didn’t respond after that. This one’s on me. Ghost.
  14. Stopped responding after a few texts. Ghost.
  15. Texted back and forth for a week. She invited me to a bar on a Wednesday, I couldn’t make it, asked to reschedule, she said she’d let me know. She respawned with “peekaboo”, I responded, no response from her. Ghost.
  16. Cute 22-year old from Tinder that was really into my text game. Canceled on date 1 during the week, then asked me at 9 PM Saturday what I was up do (I had plans). I got back to her Sunday and said I was free that night, no response. I respawned a week later, she seemed receptive to a date, I told her time/location, then she didn’t respond to my confirmation text. Flake.
  17. Tinder. Didn’t respond to initial transition text. This same girl had ghosted me before about a year ago. Ghost.
  18. Turned out to be fatter than expected, I lost interest. I lost interest.
  19. Insane Asian girl with one of the worst commands of English I’ve experienced. Asked for a photo because she only had one up and she stopped responding. Ghost.
  20. Black girl from Atlanta from Instagram. Met.
  21. Hot girl from Sacramento who comes to SF on weekends. Extremely interested on Tinder, flirting with me hard, then stopped responding after one Snapchat exchange (maybe she saw my face and got turned off?) and didn’t respond to photo ping. Ghost.
  22. Travel nurse from the Midwest. Wouldn’t give me a firm date when she’s free because she works all the time. Last weekend when I asked she said she’d be free this weekend, then I asked when she’d be free this weekend and she claims she’s working. In Play, but likely Ghost.
  23. Spanish girl from Bumble. Didn’t respond to my Halloween photo ping. Ghost.
  24. Flaked date 1 because she had to work late, then offered to reschedule. We rescheduled for the next day, then she didn’t respond to my confirmation text and unmatched me on Tinder. Flake.
  25. Hot girl from Portland. Have a date scheduled tonight. I have a feeling she’s going to flake, because I had to venue change the morning of due to logistics. In Play, but likely Flake.

That leaves me with the following statistics:

  • 25 numbers
  • 14 ghosted
  • 3 flaked (two out of the three flaked twice on two different dates)
  • 3 met
  • 3 I lost interest
  • 2 in play (but do not look promising)

Throwing out the two in play and the three where I lost interest, that’s 3 girls out of 20 numbers, which would indicate a flake rate of 85%.

Why so high? Well, a few hypotheses:

  • I live in San Francisco, one of the hardest cities in the US for game
  • I live in San Francisco, one of the flakiest cities in the US in terms of overall culture
  • I go for too many numbers and chase weak leads
  • I’m not decisive enough when asking for the date and leave many girls to languish
  • My text game isn’t good enough

Curious to hear what you guys think.


8 thoughts on “Flaketober

  1. Congrats on getting the volume of numbers – you’re doing something right.

    From the text what’s obvious to me is you’re not flirting enough, and chasing too much. It all gives off a ‘cordial follower’ vibe, bending to her frame, showing some shiny things like food or details about yourself but changing the topic when she doesn’t show interest, while chasing some.

    So what do you want to do with it?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. >> So what do you want to do with it?

      I met up with a couple guys on Saturday night, including Nash and Magnum, who sometimes comments on Nash’s blog.

      Magnum gave me a ton of really good advice. Like me, he does almost exclusively online game, but he runs Blackdragon’s dating model of an hour-long first date and then a second date over at his house.

      His text game is very minimal. From what I can tell, he sends two back and forths on the site/app, one of which gets her to invest and one of which is a DHV, and then immediately pitches the date, if she confirms, he’ll then immediately propose two times. He does this all on the app and then gets her number to talk logistics.

      If it’s more than a couple days until the date he does some quick photo pings and flirting to keep her interested, and doesn’t ask questions if he can avoid it, just makes statements and gives her insight into his life.

      I’m going to start doing this. I think my main problem is that I’m spending too much time texting and not enough time solidifying date times, I’m non-committal because I keep holding out for the hotter girls, but in the process I lose any abundance that I have.

      So I think it’s time to go on a bunch of first dates with 6s, fuck a couple of them, then keep upgrading from there. I know I can get 7s and 7.5s in SF because I’ve done it before, and I think as my game keeps improving even 8s are possible.

      (Magnum, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about any of the above)


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  3. 25 numbers is a decent amount but shoot for more, people are sooo flaky these days with so many things going in 2 inches from their face, need to be casting as wide of a net as possible


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  5. Kpop

    I’m afraid you’re killing your confidence trying to game in San Francisco. Not only is it in the US, but its populated by rich assholes. Looking at your communications, I’m not certain there’s much you can do. Many women are either flakes or not, and no amount of wordplay is going to change that. Most women in the US know they could just go out and choose almost any guy they wish and take them home and fuck them. So why are they going to dick around on Tinder if their goal is sex? After living abroad for 6 years, I returned to the US. I realized immediately the futility of of trying to be a player. For example, on my first Tinder date I ran the usual game that landed me scores and scores of women across LA and Asia. This bitch literally walked out of the date. Since then, I have focused on other aspects of my life such as career, health, and finance. And getting the hell out of here ASAP!


  6. Pingback: Flaking in the Bay Area is out of control – Pancake Mouse

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